i

Mac…..

ATTACK!

I’ll never be the same

I can’t imagine life without

a

FREEZE!

a

VIRUS!

or

HEADACHE!

I’ve heard it said, ‘an Apple a day, keeps the doctor away.’

…..

http://pd.dfw.com/sp?aff=1100&keywords=very+merry+holiday+cookie+recipes&submit=Search

Okay, how about a recipe, you say.  Well, I can certainly offer you up one.  I just happened to sit down and read the paper one day this week, and lo and behold there was this item that feasted itself upon me.  No, not with the black and white newsprint, less-than-stellar photo, but the tingling of senses one gets when they read a list of ingredients.

Yeah, this item is a winner, and in more ways than one.  I baked these beauties, shared them and promised myself to revisit them during this busy holiday season.  These little jumpers will do a dirty on you if you let them.  I’m sure they are loaded with the ‘x’ amount of calories, but for the sake of holiday enticements let’s just make a deal: You don’t talk about calories AND I won’t either.

Sound good?

Yeah, times two!  I knew you’d agree with me.

First place winner, The Fort Worth Star Telegram 2010 Holiday baking contest, submitted by Tamara Reese of Fort Worth, Texas.  She has one doozie of an item.  Bake them, or go off to the corner and cry for what you’ve missed.  We’ll deal with you later.

…..

Fire up that oven, place that beauty on a preheat of 350 degrees, farenheit

…..

T’s Toffee Temptations

(an adaptation by CoffeeGrounded)

  • 3/4 cup butter-flavored Crisco (I ain’t got this item, so I cheated and used another round of unsalted butter)
  • 3/4 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups of dark brown sugar (again, I cheated.  I used light brown)
  • 3 large eggs (I like mine room-temp when I bake)
  • 1 Tablespoon Mexican vanilla (and now I have ‘cheated’ tres times.  I only keep Madagascar Bourbon at mi casa)
  • 3 cups all-purpose flour  (KA has my heart!)
  • 1 Tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 Tablespoon baking soda
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon (Vietnamese, please!  Again, it’s a CoffeeGrounded thing….)
  • 1 teaspoon salt (‘yada, yada yada’…let’s do sea or Kosher, please)
  • 3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats (Quaker, cuz dat wuz what I haz)
  • 2 cups semisweet chocolate (try to keep from eating half the bag before the mix-in, okay?)
  • 1 (8 ounce bag Heath English Toffee Bits) …again, WE NEED THE FULL BAG, okay, Coffee?
  • 1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped pecans, toasted (naw part’ner, you ain’t missin nuttin…. I left ’em out of yer package when I mailed it, well, cuz some folks just ain’t nuts for NUTS ;)

Grab the biggest bowl you have in your house.  Don’t fret if you can’t find it. REMEMBER, it may be hiding in the man-cave, along with the discards of Monday nights football popcorn feast.  Don’t bother with the beer cans while you are on your hunt. Simply write that item on the ‘Honey-Do-It-Now-Or-Else’ list.

Wash it, please!   You’ll be sharing these cookies.  My address follows.

Thanks!

Toss that butter (and the Crisco, if you was being true to Tamara, and  yes, I know it is three cups of fat, but we’re friends, remember?) into your mixer and beat it up for a few.    Like 2 or 3 minutes.  Get it all nice and fluffy-like.  Dump all 3 cups of that combined sugar in there now and let that machine dance for another 2 or 3 minutes.  No, that speed thing ain’t all that important to me.  I like to travel at mid-range, myself.  I don’t care much for repainting the ceiling, much less, sudsing up and rinsing the floorboards.

Got them eggs ready?  Toss one in at a time, blend ‘er up each time, but don’t beat the daylights out of these babies.  We’ve spent all our time making that lovely emulsion and we don’t want to deflate it none.

Grab the vanilla bottle, place a drop behind each ear and then remember to add one tablespoon atop the egg, butter, Crisco and sugar match-up.  Mix in gently. ( Always respect vanilla.  She’s cheaper than that pricey item from Neiman’s)

Did you act like a big person and sift them dry ingredients beforehand?

Good for you.  But if you were busy picking up those beer cans I told you to leave alone, well, now is the time to get your act together.

Combine flour and oatmeal, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt, into a SEPARATE bowl.  Mix-er up a bit.  You know, ‘rub the sands of time’ with it, and then waltz on over to that mixing bowl.  Stir that stuff into the butter mixture.  It’s a fifty-dollar bet that you have removed the whisk attachment by now, having fully realized that there ain’t no civilized way to get all this stuff mixed-in properly without tossing your hands into the bowl. Quick!  Ain’t no one looking, but me.  I’ve got your back!

Okay, where are the remains of the day?  The chocolate chips and those toffee bits?

WHAT?  You ate them and drank the dregs of Monday-Nite football beer!  How could you?

For shame, for shame.

Okay, you iz human.  You ARE forgiven, but in the meantime, grab whats left of that free-for-all and let’s get down to the final bits of business.

Toss ’em in.  Mix ’em up, but don’t go heavy-handed.  We still want air bubbles in our batter. ( It does something to the chemistry of this whole mayhem.  We want a chewy cookie, but we ain’t lookin to put new soles on our Keds.)

Go ahead and burp…

(You are excused.)

…..

Where are those cookie sheets?  Parchment?  The can of Crisco?  Pam?  …oh, my apologies.  I didn’t know that was the neighbors dogs name.

You gots one of dem large dishers?  No?  No problem.  Grab a teaspoon and start making hay!  or rather…golf balls.  Yeah, de iz pretty nice size, eh?

….Yeah, the more dough you gots, the more cookie you eats :)

Bake these beauties till the cows come home.  My Jersey’s were home the minute they smelled the Toll-House ‘effect’.

Okay, for you that are taking a timed test, let’s just ear-ball (eye-ball) it at 12 to 15 minutes, but since you have very little reason to trust me when I don’t have a pic to prove my point, you’ll have to stand by the oven window and just watch the scenery.

It be fine, don’t it?

Smell that aroma?

Cinnamon kisses chocolate and butter rules the day!

…..

GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY COOKIE!!!!!!

;)

*No pic, no proof, but I bet I’ve driven you to madness simply by my lack of good grammar and punctuation.  If you’re like a few of my so-called friends, you’ll simply have to prove me wrong.

Go ahead, I’m game.  And so is Tamara and half of Fort Worth.

;)

 

*****

Disclaimer:  I am not able to archive the link that shows the specific date the cookie recipe was posted.  The above link will reference the newspaper story.

Please note that my recipe is NOT VERBATIM, and detours a bit.  I think you will enjoy the adaptations.

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~ by coffeegrounded on December 4, 2010.

2 Responses to “i”

  1. Oh, I Miss You So Much!!!!! I want to come see you and have coffee and these yummy cookies together!!
    Have a Merry Christmas my Wonderful Friend!

    • I miss you too, sweetie. It has been far too long since we have seen each other. With Megs in California, and Mips up at Denton, we just don’t seem to find ourselves north these days. Home is always where the heart is though, and my door is always open to you and yours. Tell mama and daddy I said, “Howdy!” … and Mr. R, and Miss C, too.
      XOXOXO

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