It ate my whole lunch…

Have you ever been guilty of taking on more than you can chew?  That’s how this thing began.

The tired old screens were seen blowing in the wind.  Weathered and dry boards screamed obscenities, and the paint job?  Parts of the old girl still showed signs of someone’s  fixation with all things, 1980’s, and the coloring shade of dusty blue.

One day I simply couldn’t face her anymore.   As embarrassed and ashamed as I was, I attacked this little lady.  Before the mayhem was over, I found myself in the aisle of the big-box store purchasing one sander, then another.  Yes, multiples.  This household blew through sand paper like toilet tissue. And then there was the paint stripper, ghastly and vile stuff in its own right.  It besieged me with its attitude and stripped me of multiple plastic gloves before I realized that there had to be a better way to manage this corrosive dynamite.  In due time I would learn the value of necessary and essential equipment, but initially I was…

just plain dumb!

…and then came the winter.  We set about to encase this little woman in a good wrap of plastic, secured tightly by fifty-kazillion staples.  She held taunt for about a week, or two, before I wound her securely with some lovely duck tape.  That set her straight, or at least until the next batch of 40+ mph winds. Finally we opted to consider our efforts as an entertainment.  It was necessary.  This tired old woman kept reminding us that we had long neglected her and now it was time for a little, payback.  We fought plastic wrap and staples, duck tape and a seemingly endless array of props, used to stabilize Jezebel’s enrobing.

But in late February, I’d enjoyed all I could of this VH1 classic.  I fully disrobed her. Discarding her toga into the trash can and once again making a move to right my ways with the old lady.  Paint thinner, sander and stain, fell miraculously into my hands.  My mission was set.  I was going to the summit!

March came, and I announced that it was time to locate someone to do a bit of trim work.  Hubs kept saying, “Oh, that can be done, easily.”  But, what he really meant by his words was more akin to…

“Cutting boards and installing screen won’t take us any length of time, and that masonite board is a quick fix, too.”

I kept hearing the wrong things.  Maybe it was my exposure to the caustic acids, the lead-paint fumes of faded blue, or maybe, just maybe…

I was tired.

…  I’m good at dialing phone numbers.  I’m notorious for haggling.  I’m an expert at entertaining workmen.

Oh, wait a minute

…  what I meant to say was:  I’m good at staying out of the workmen’s way, especially when they are dining on my screened-in porch.



~ by coffeegrounded on April 25, 2011.

3 Responses to “It ate my whole lunch…”

  1. This really looks amazing. You guys did a great job!


  2. Thank you for your kind words.


  3. It looks wonderful!


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